FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart & How to Deal With It Cozily


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Nothing bad will happen to you this month because you rawk! Also, whoa—did you lose weight? Obey this feeling. Plus, whoa! There will be challenges this month, but the beat goes on. To change is to live, to live is to grow, to grow is to change.

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Also, the stars want to know: Did you lose weight? You did nothing wrong. High five! You will lose five pounds. Get it, girl, and treat yourself to a truly cleansing month! Then reward yourself with some casual sex. By the end of the month, Venus will have moved into your Sixth House, which rules prosperity, happiness, and losing four pounds!

Your eyebrows look fierce. Your hair looks fiercer. Your nails look fiercest. A younger Amal Clooney. You know who you are? You are entitled to everything you want and everything anyone else has. Pudge, because you are going to lose two and a half pounds. The hardest part is having to use an outdated register system.

Everybody knows that. It was just as staged as the dining room, only the cooks here looked real, and angry for having to participate. A few were staring at the camera. Cooks cursing, servers shouting, and busboys running around, speaking gibberish. And remember how we used to talk to the cooks back in the old days? How old fashioned! She quickly scribbled a handwritten order, tore it off, affixed it to the order wheel and spun. The tattooed line cook hesitated, then snatched it like a fistful of owed money, glaring at the cameraman the entire time. The camera then focused on the Bobcat itself, a computer the size of a tabletop television, with a green CRT monitor above a waterproof keyboard.

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Brady explained how it worked. Brady inhaled. Once the computer accepts your request, just enter your food order using these seven simple groups of category keys, all of which open into corresponding submenus with columns of three-digit product codes that you can use to leave notes for the cooks. Brady was in the dining room again. Brady turned to the camera and beamed. Marty grinned, ignoring the question. Servers, who were dancing out of step to the music, now surrounded Mrs. Modern registers mean faster service. Like Bewitched magic, harps played as three singles appeared in the hand.

More harps, a five appeared, topped off with some change. The screen then cut back to a waitress holding the money. Brady nodded in agreement.

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Before he could move, Alan appeared at his side, holding more training tapes. Brady wears a hazmat suit in that one. The Checkers Bar. Any typical note from Gwen, on any given day. From their vantage point on the living room sofa, Alan and Patrick could see the vehicle clearly, but chose not to meet it as that felt like an intrusion. Stephanie sat in the passenger seat, wrapped in a crocheted afghan that her Papa had brought to the hospital. The young girl looked shell-shocked as her grandfather led her through the garage and into the house.

Alan and Patrick could hear Audrey meet them in the kitchen, followed by gentle whispers. Jacob came into the living room. He returned to the kitchen, where he met his wife as she came upstairs. Patrick looked at Alan. Alan shrugged his shoulders, standing up and setting his tea onto the coffee table. He crept towards the doorway that led to the kitchen.

He listened for a moment, before motioning Patrick to his side. Once together, the two entered the room. What can we get for the house? She muttered something about not having any cash, but Patrick raised his palm.

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Both of you. Ten minutes later, the two were zipping down Washington Street hill, the same route that Guinevere had traveled barely 24 hours before. Alan slowed when they passed the accident site; there were still remnants of broken glass on the pavement. A short while later, they pulled into the same Super Wal Mart the two had visited the previous night.

They entered the store. Look — she even specifies what brand and scent to buy. It makes sense that she wants a clean house. Are they next to the peas? Should we break this list up? Divide and conquer?

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He reached into his jacket to retrieve his buzzing phone. We have a bigger problem than peas and panty hose. The place was little more than a rusty prefab building, a pile of smashed cars behind a fence, and lots and lots of mud. He was drunk. He was sitting on the ground Indian-style, with a bottle of Canadian Club between his legs.


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He stared at Alan somberly before noticing Patrick, looking him up and down. The wet man protested, but stopped as he watched Alan take his own deep swallow, swirling the contents near the bottom before finishing it completely. Alan handed it back. It shattered on impact. He briefly looked at Patrick, then back to Dale.

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His body had clearly not yet acclimated to the cold, and fall in Illinois was far different than Nevada. Patrick looked directly at Alan. We can wash his clothes in the Laundromat. Order room service.


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  8. Get a pot of coffee into him. The two helped Dale to his feet. Find out where he lives. They poured him into the passenger seat, then took their own places behind steering wheels.

    FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart &  How to Deal With It Cozily FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart & How to Deal With It Cozily
    FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart &  How to Deal With It Cozily FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart & How to Deal With It Cozily
    FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart &  How to Deal With It Cozily FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart & How to Deal With It Cozily
    FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart &  How to Deal With It Cozily FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart & How to Deal With It Cozily
    FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart &  How to Deal With It Cozily FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart & How to Deal With It Cozily
    FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart &  How to Deal With It Cozily FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart & How to Deal With It Cozily
    FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart &  How to Deal With It Cozily FUN with FARTING: Who Else Wants to Know Why We Fart & How to Deal With It Cozily

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