No One Asked To Be?

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Stop seeing … start hearing.

In all of those years she literally had no identity. She said it multiple times and I knew that was one thing I needed to hear. No one ever asked me what I wanted. I had no identity.

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This movement needs to hear this! This message transcends to everyone we work with and work for. Are we asking the kids in our community — what do you want? What do you need? Who are you? Are we telling them they are worthy? They are perfect? They deserve all that is good? Now insert the women we work with into that equation … the families we work with into that equation … the partners we work with in that equation. Are we really listening? Do we care what they have to say? And when they say it — will we act?

She has more to tell. And I am ready to listen. Are you? Before I could even wrap my head around what was happening, I was punched in the face— hard.


I flew backwards towards the bed. Standing before me was a man I did not recognize. He only had on a pair of tattered button-up jeans and a masquerade mask. I became instantly frightened and fight or flight kicked in. I punched, clawed, and kicked to no avail. He was much larger and stronger than me. I screamed to the top of my lungs but no one could hear me over the loud reverberation of the bass. The music was deafening and far louder than I could ever be. That night, at eighteen years old, I was beaten and raped. After he left, I stayed curled in a fetal position on the bed for quite a while.

I felt frozen in time. My entire body was bruised. I finally found the effort to get myself up. I fled the house, ran into the night, mostly naked, with tears streaming down my face. My friend was not far behind. Luckily, she had not been raped, but narrowly escaped.

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Her battered face showed how close she had come to losing the battle. We made a vow in the darkness of night, under the stars and full moon, that we would never talk about what happened. We had arrived, scantily clad, to a house full of strange men. What did we expect was going to happen?! I carried the shame of that night for many years. So why did it make me feel so dirty and shamed?! Why did I still feel guilty?

Recently, there has been an article in circulation in which Chrissy Hynde, of The Pretenders , has received a lot of backlash from a statement she gave to The Sunday Times.

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According to Ms. Hynde, when she was 23, an Ohio motorcycle gang member promised to take her to a party but instead took her to a vacant house and forced her to perform sexual acts under the threat of violence. Hynde stated that she takes full responsibility for what occurred. You have to take responsibility. It is critical that nothing deters victims of sexual violence from coming forward to the police or to independent organizations so they can get the help and support they need.

No one asked you | Super Mario | Know Your Meme

I strongly identify with both sides. I also agree that victims should not blame themselves. But, if you know anyone who has been raped—they usually do. There is never a time, regardless of circumstance, that it is ever okay to force yourself on someone.

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No means no! The current American Statistics on rape show that every two minutes, someone is sexually assaulted. One out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. Among all victims, approximately nine out of ten are female. One out of every thirty-three American men has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in his lifetime.

the answer to a question no one asked (Modern Happiness b side)

Did you provoke this in any manner?

No One Asked To Be? No One Asked To Be?
No One Asked To Be? No One Asked To Be?
No One Asked To Be? No One Asked To Be?
No One Asked To Be? No One Asked To Be?
No One Asked To Be? No One Asked To Be?
No One Asked To Be? No One Asked To Be?

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